$21 Challenge Day 1 - Thanks for the Mammaries

Oh goodness gracious me, was it really June 1st I last wrote a blog?  To be fair there's been a lot going on.  A lot has changed - and I mean a LOT - I'll get around to sharing all that I promise!  But for now am dealing with the immediate present.  As you may have seen on my 'Riches Have Wings' Facebook page, this week I have no choice but to do a $21 Challenge. Actually it's a $20 challenge as I don't even have the extra dollar, thanks to all manner of horrible expenses on things such as Mildred the car and Graham the cat.  Seeing as I only got paid the day previously, I was feeling pretty down about getting through the week on such a small amount.  That was until I remembered the $21 Challenge and no word of a lie my mindset changed in an instant.  I was no longer a whinger, I was a warrior!

I can't remember the last time I did a $21 Challenge, it was a very long time ago.  I mean my budget isn't exactly huge anyway.  Last time I worked out a budget a couple of months ago I came out with the princely sum of $52 leftover each week for food, petrol, medical expenses and so on.  I supplement this wherever I can by selling everything except the kitchen sink on my local Facebook Buy, Sell and Swap page. Growing my $52 a week is an ongoing mission of mine but it will take me a couple of months to get there as I have to spend money first to save money, if you get what I mean. Anyways, I digress...

A lot of confusion has always surrounded the $21 Challenge.  It was only ever intended to cover food only, not toilet paper, cleaning products and all manner of other things.  Even after all these years many people think that this sum has to cover EVERYTHING and do their challenge accordingly, which is absolutely fine.  I've never had to do one this way before but this week I do, as my $20 is quite literally all there is.

Having decided to do my $21 Challenge yesterday afternoon, my first choice of dinner was relatively easy.  I had taken two chicken breasts out of the freezer yesterday morning and planned to make Baked Sweet and Sour Chicken, which everyone loves.  This recipe is the shizzle, it's so delicious, yet uses only the most basic of pantry ingredients.  Sorted!  Until I went to make it, that was and discovered I didn't have enough sugar, cornflour or cider vinegar, all three of which were essential to the recipe.  On top of that, Ali asked if his girlfriend could stay for dinner and I only had two chicken breasts.  Going to the supermarket for more chicken and the missing ingredients wasn't an option; the chicken alone would have taken a big chunk of our $20!  A rethink was necessary - and fortunately it didn't take long for me to find.

In an old, well-thumbed playgroup fundraiser recipe book, I came across the rarely made but very delicious 'Chicken Potato Slice'.  Don't be fooled by the boring title, this recipe is delicious and the total opposite of boring!  I had pretty much everything I needed on hand and could substitute what I didn't have, such as regular onion for spring onion.  As an extra bonus, it would also use up the half a cup of cream that was in the fridge.  The thing was, I only had two chicken breasts and the recipe called for four.  What to do, what to do? In desperation I opened the freezer - and saw a bag of cooked, shredded roast chicken I had saved from a couple of weeks before after reading a Simple Savings tip from a lady who buys cooked chickens when they're on crazy special and portions them all out and freezes them in bags.  As it turned out, the couple of breasts I already had turned out to be a lot bigger than I thought once defrosted and once poached and added to the other cooked chicken, I had the perfect amount, woohoo!

I was already feeling pretty pleased with myself for thinking outside the square and reducing the cost of dinner by so much.  The only thing I didn't have now for my recipe was white wine, and having eaten this dish before I knew that even the measly third of a cup required did make a big difference to the flavour.  What could I substitute for wine in the recipe, could you even DO that?  Hang on, didn't we include an alternative for wine in the substitutes section of the $21 Challenge book?  A quick flick to the back of the book and I grinned to myself - there it was!  To make one cup of 'wine, all I needed was a cup of water, three tablespoons of lemon juice (I have masses of lemons in the garden) and three teaspoons of water.  In inwardly thanked Fiona for insisting we write the substitutes section in the first place and divided the quanties by three to get my third of the cup.  You wouldn't believe how well it worked!  Seriously, I never need to buy wine for cooking again!

Before I knew it, my dish was done, it looked and smelled just like it was supposed to and thanks to the huge bag of carrots I bought last week and an abundance of frozen vegies from my mum's garden, there was dinner.  Being vegetarian myself, I made Sophie Gray's Red Lentil Bolognaise (which you can also find in the $21 Challenge book) and made enough rice to go with it so that I have at least two more meals at my disposal for lunches or dinners during the week.

'What's for dinner?', Ali's girlfriend Hayley asked, tentatively peering into the oven.  'Ohh, it's some chickeny bake thing', I waved towards it vaguely.  'We're doing a $21 Challenge this week!'  'I know, my dad told me, he saw it on Facebook!' she replied somewhat nervously.  'Oh don't worry, most of the time you eat even better than normal on a $21 Challenge because you have to plan everything so well and use everything up!' I assured her.  As it was, the chickeny bake thing was a hit.  'That was good!  I need more!' she grinned, bringing her empty plate back to the table.  Even though I had made the dish before I was much relieved to see everyone happily tucking in!

So Day One is done and dusted and I was pretty proud of myself, not least to have come up with not one, but two main meals.  In case you're thinking 'oh she's obviously got heaps of food on hand, she's stocked up', you are very much mistaken!  I may have a few vegies on hand and some fruit but I am already really lacking on a lot of basics such as milk, butter, onions and all those little essentials which are in most recipes to make them work or taste good.  I've run out of dog food so today I'll be foraging through the freezer to see what I can make for Minnie the spaniel and today I also need to do my inventory (better late than never) to plan the rest of the week's meals.  Breakfast for me is toast spread with tahini as I need to save the butter!  Now if I can just find a $21 Challenge substitute to help me avoid buying toothpaste until Thursday.  Wonder if I can get the rest of the family to clean their teeth with baking soda?  I don't like my chances!

If you would like the recipe for the very not boring 'Chicken Potato Bake' and 'Sophie's Red Lentil Bolognaise', you can find them on my Facebook page here.

So, we meet again...

I know, I know, I'm a fickle creature.  I said I wasn't going to blog any more and here I am back again like a bad penny (no pun intended!)  But as I said on my Facebook page, I so miss being able to share the simple joys of everyday life!  Particularly since being back on the Simple Savings team, I find myself constantly inspired by so many wonderful things and people.  So here I am again and thank you to all of you who have encouraged and supported my need to ramble, it really means a lot.

It's been a good old while since I last posted so I guess we should start with a bit of a recap, not that too much has changed.  Liam is halfway through his university degree and is living the typical student life half way down the country.  I miss him terribly but he is happy and doing well, living with his girlfriend and a couple of flatmates.  Ali turns 18 next month and is also looking at universities with a view to doing a Masters degree in psychology!  How on earth they've turned out to be such a couple of brainboxes with half of my ditzy genes is beyond me but I couldn't be prouder of them and am cherishing the last few months I have with Ali before he also leaves the nest.

Amazingly enough, Gareth hasn't got sick of me yet either.  Probably due to the fact that he's the nicest bloke in the world but somehow he still manages to put up with me dishing him up spectacular failures such as grey scrambled eggs (was supposed to be a Carbonara) and my really annoying tendency to forget EVERYTHING.  How we met is rather a neat story in itself but I'll save that for another day.

We also have a new kitten which we recently adopted from our local cat rescue charity.  Being massive fans of 'Vikings' we named him Ragnar, although in hindsight we should really have named him 'Wizzer' due to his rather worrying habit of peeing on everything!  Even so, we wouldn't be without him - I'm just grateful for all the stain and odour removing tips I've learned from Simple Savings over the years!

Life still has its challenges (doesn't everyone's?) but for the moment I'm just enjoying winter at my beloved Nawtypoo Cottage.  I always seem to turn into a raging earth mother with the onset of the cold weather each year and feel constantly compelled to bake and stuff everyone full of soup and comforting puddings.  Feeding the many birds who visit my garden is also one of my favourite joys and I was rather alarmed this morning to notice that even some of my sparrows are looking a tad obese!

There's another reason for my return to blogging as well - meet Roger, the writing desk!

Isn't he fabulous?  This has to be my all-time favourite freebie and I treasure it every day.  Not that I was the one to name him Roger you understand; he already came to me ready-named by his previous owner.  Roger was a cherished family heirloom for over 40 years and spent a good part of his previous life travelling all over the country in a house bus before being handed down through the family.  Unfortunately when the family moved to the beach and downsized their home, they had to make the wrenching decision to part with Roger.  Fortunately for me, a couple of friends on our local Facebook Buy & Sell group saw him and knew I was looking for a real old fashioned writing desk with plenty of character so gave me the tip-off.  Now Roger sits in pride of place in my room and I look forward to many happy writing adventures together!

There's still plenty more to catch up on but I don't want to bore you to death already so all in good time.  I'm just busy making the most of my frugal skills every day, whether it's cooking and reducing waste, or growing my own food or making cleaning products and the like.  It's amazing how many things we Simple Savers actually do in a day that other people just don't do!  I'm glad to be able to do them and even more glad to be able to talk about them with other likeminded people who 'get it'. Things might still be tough money wise but good grief, I would hate to think what life would be like if I never knew of so many ways to save!

Back on the frugal train

I have a bit of a dilemma on my hands at the moment.  I don't know what to have for lunch.  I know, first world problems right?  But seriously, I've been so busy in the kitchen lately using up every scrap of what we have and turning it into something else, I actually have too many choices!  Do I have chicken noodle soup?  Or a curry pasty?  Or some sausage hotpot?  Or a chilli beef and cheese pie? And don't get me started on everything I have in the garden right now!  Tomatoes, bok choy, lettuce, beans (three kinds of), rhubarb, carrots, silverbeet, broccoli, courgettes, plus these freaky looking Asian greens that I don't know what to do with but taste nice anyway... it feels like I have a little supermarket right in my own place!

All picked yesterday!

It feels bloody good actually.  Feels like I'm getting on top of things again.  It's lovely to look in the freezer and see it all stacked nicely with food I've either grown or saved.  Keeping on top of all the weeds in the garden is a bit of a pain, it's a never ending chore but so worthwhile.  I have to say this week would be the least I have spent on food in a very long time.  It's something our household is really committing itself to because the amount we've been spending lately is crazy.  I thought it was just me being slack but I saw a friend yesterday who is one of the savviest, most frugal people I know and she said she was off to another supermarket 45 minutes away because she was so sick of going to our local one and spending an easy $100 each time on just a few bits.  She reckons she saves an average of $1 - $2 per item at the supermarket out of town, which when you add up how many items you'd put in your trolley works out to a hell of a lot - far more than the petrol it would cost to go there.  It's tempting to give it a go.

Not that I need to go for a while however!  It also helps that the blokes in our house are REALLY unfussy.  One of our big wasters which we've been trying to stamp on and make better use of is to stop cooking too much and eating it all, but making it stretch into another meal or freezing the leftovers instead.

One such example is buying a big bag of sausages on special and cooking up the whole lot rather than only the amount we need.  Even if we don't eat them all right then and there, simply knowing there are leftover sausages in the fridge calling to us means they don't last five minutes and we just eat them for the sake of it, rather than saving them until we're hungry.  Getting rid of this habit alone is proving to be a big saver and it really helps when everyone is on the same page money wise. Although I have to say I guess not working is also a big factor in being more organised.  I mean, I have to do something productive with my day!  So I spend it largely in the kitchen and the garden and although there's always that financial stress in the back of my mind, I have to admit to being a much happier little bunny.  As Murphy's Law would have it, I've had job offers coming out of my ears lately but at this stage am unable to take up any of them!  Still, it's nice to be asked.

The way to a man's heart is through his stomach, so they say and I'm pretty sure that Yorkshire Pudding is the main reason my man puts up with me.  Gareth LOVES Yorkshire Pudding!  Actually everyone I know loves Yorkshire Pudding but a lot of people have never tried it until they come to our house.  Once they do, they're instantly converted. And I'm more than happy to make it as often as everyone wants because it's so cheap.  Honestly, how can something that's basically made from nothing taste so good?!  So seeing as Valentine's Day is coming up, here is my age-old foolproof recipe for good old fashioned Yorkshire Pud to amaze and astound your loved one with.  If you've never tried it, it's about time you did!

Yorkshire Pudding 

1 cup plain flour (it HAS to be plain, not self-raising!)
1/2 tsp salt
2 eggs
1/2 cup milk
2 tbsp water
Oil

Put your flour and salt together in a bowl (they reckon sift it but I'm too lazy for that and it always turns out fine).  Make a 'well' in the centre and crack the eggs into it.  Stir gently, then add the milk and water (again it says gradually but I just chuck it in!)  Mix well until you have a smooth batter. The earlier you can make your batter before you needed (the recommendation is to chill for an hour) the better it is, however in our house Yorkshire Pudding is often a spontaneous decision and I've found it really doesn't make any difference if you use it straight away.

Anyway, however long you leave it, once you're ready to cook them, put the oven on to 200C. I use a large 6-pan muffin tin to make mine in, or a Swiss roll size tin.  Put in about two tablespoons of oil, then pop the empty tray into the oven and leave it until the oil is smoking hot (that's an important bit). Quickly pour the batter into the tin and then shove back in the centre of the oven for around 30 minutes or until golden.  Best served with roast dinner and lashings of gravy but we've been known to eat pretty much anything with them!

Stop Crumbling, Start Kicking!

It seems to me, that when pretty much anything crap happens in life you have two choices.  You can either crumble and let it beat you - or you can step up and kick it in the ass.  Sometimes it can take a while to stop crumbling and start kicking.  And sometimes, such as in the case of illness, things truly are beyond your control.  But on the whole, when it comes to most things - money going down the gurgler, relationships coming to an end, loss of something or someone; whatever, how you react, how you bounce back and how you survive from here on is up to you.  One thing is certain - good or bad, there is always something to be learned from it.

I've been awake since 3.30 this morning, paying off debts in my head - trying to visualise how I can do it (particularly when there's nothing to spare), how long it will take and ticking them all off mentally in my head, imagining how good it's going to feel, getting rid of the blasted things one at a time until there's no more left.  I can credit two triggers with changing me from a crumbler to a kicker this week - one is Simple Savings, the other is my bank.

The bank want to help me you see.  I'm not sure how they plan to do this yet and I'm not sure who was more surprised to hear this, me or my bank manager.  But despite the fact that things look nothing short of disastrous on paper, they don't want to take my house from me.  At least, not yet.  I have around six months to try and turn things around.  I'm not sure if I can do it because at the moment, I simply don't have enough to make a difference.  I have to turn my negative balance into a positive balance with enough surplus to pay off all my arrears as well.  But if they're willing to give me a chance, I have to give it my best shot.  I have to start doing some serious ass-kicking.

The first thing I had to do after meeting with the bank this week was pick up the phone to all the people I owe money to.  All the ones whose letters and phone calls I had been ignoring, whose bills had gone unpaid by anything from two to six months.  It took me six hours to contact everyone.  Yeah, there were a lot.  The list was endless and I dreaded each one but I was amazed to find that everyone I spoke to actually cared (or if they didn't, they did a bloody good job of sounding like they did) and wanted to help.  As I progressed down the list I found myself being offered two months free this, three months suspended payments on that - and I realised that shit must happen to people all the time and that's why they have these things in place.  All they ask for is that customers communicate - which I've always known but was too busy crumbling to communicate with anyone.  Now, whilst I still have to pay everything back, at least I have a bit of breathing space and I feel like I have regained a smidgeon of control.  I still feel like a failure - but not as much of a failure.

Gareth came home later that afternoon and I cried all over him.  Poor bloke, must have been lovely to come home to!  I try not to cry very often but even though the day had been so productive, the whole process had been exhausting.  The bank also got me to write a new budget and although it was good to know exactly where I was at, seeing the enormity of the task at hand and the money I had to find was nothing short of overwhelming.  Still, I know what I have to do now - I just need to come up with a way to do it and whilst I felt overwhelmed, I didn't feel down or despairing.  The hardest part is over.  Now it's time for the fun part, kicking those debts into oblivion!

Until the other day, I hadn't been a member of Simple Savings for over a year and I wonder now how much NOT being part of it possibly affected me financially during the past 12 months.  It's not that I don't know what to do to save money; I still know more about that stuff than pretty much anyone I know - and so I should!  It's the motivation side of things; the constant focus and being in the presence of like minded people that is really pushing my buttons now.  We cheer each other on, we commiserate with one another and most of all we inspire one another.  In just over a week of being back, I have read many stories of people such as the 22 year old who was $52,000 in debt until she joined Simple Savings.  Six months down the track she has reduced that debt by $18,000!  Or the 39 year old woman who was so determined to buy her own house before she was 40 that she has managed to save $60,000 in less than three years.  Or the long-time Simple Savings legend Shane O'Donnell who was one of the first people to inspire me by sharing how she reduced her debts by $30,000 in one year.  That's real ass-kicking stuff.  That's the kind of thing I want to do.

Saying that, I don't think any of these ladies have teenagers.  It must be a hell of a lot easier to save money when you don't have to worry about anyone else and can just focus on yourself.  If it was just me I could exist happily on beans on toast and save a shitload too!  But it's not just the stories, it's the ideas too.  One of the reasons I couldn't sleep last night was because I was imagining myself paying a little extra off each debt every night online, by rounding off whatever was in my account.  By this I mean, say at the end of the day I had $519 in my bank.  Jeez, now I am dreaming, but for explanation's sake imagine I did,  I would pay that $19 into one of my debts, so that even though I'm already paying them a set amount each month, I'd be paying it off faster using all those little 'leftover' bits here and there.  The next day I might only have $412 but again I would chuck that $12 into something else.  After all, we all know how much those little bits add up!  To me it seems a painless way of getting ahead faster and is something I really want to do.

Every time I jump on Simple Savings it makes me think more about what more I can be doing, or things I used to do which I've forgotten.  It's stopping me from crumbling and keeping me kicking.

The (Sort Of) Plan...

I said yesterday that I didn't have a plan, but I guess I sort of do.  At this stage it's Simple Savings and  just doing my best.  Oh - and facing up to things such as phone calls and letters and deal with them then and there instead of running away (or throwing them away unopened).  Apart from that I don't really know what other choices I have until I've met with the bank.  I'm pretty confident that I can keep up with the mortgage, it's just that I don't have anything left over for bills and food.  Of course the sucky thing with monthly bills is that they keep on coming and the further you fall behind the more you owe and are unable to catch up until they cut you off.  I'm amazed I still have Internet to write this with actually because I haven't been able to use my landline phone for days.  Don't speak too soon Jack...

All I know is at the moment I am $5,000 overdrawn in my bank account.  Cool huh?  That's the part that worries me, trying to catch up on old bills when you still have new ones coming in, how the hell are you supposed to get anywhere?  Things like phone and Internet are rather important, not to mention my car.  I owe $600 on that too and my registration is way overdue which I have to pay by tomorrow because the police caught me driving around a while ago with no rego and if I don't pay within 28 days I cop an extra $100 fine on top!  Oh and then there are the debt collection notices I've been receiving from the orthodontist saying I owe them $2,000 for Ali's braces.  I'm not sure what they're going to do if I can't pay, drive 90 minutes to our house and pull them off his teeth?!

Anyway, that's off the top of my head, there's still way more such as insurance which is also kind of vital and I can't remember the last time I could afford to pay anything on my rates, maybe six months ago?  Don't get me wrong, I'm not whinging (I hope it doesn't sound like that), I'm just saying how things are and writing all this down is getting things straight in my head as much as anything.  I know there are people far, far worse off financially than me but this is my own personal situation and I don't like it one bit because I can't see how I'm ever supposed to a) catch up and b) stop myself from falling further behind.  I bloody well will though, somehow.  I have to have faith in myself and my own abilities.  That's one of the great things about reading through Simple Savings tips; you come across tales of people all the time who were in far bigger holes and managed to claw their way out of them.  It gives you hope.  I tell Ali all the time when he has a problem, 'There ain't nothing that can't be fixed'.  Maybe I need to start believing that myself.

The bank is well aware of my situation (well I think so, they must be because they've stopped sending me automated phone calls all hours of the day and night).  My bank manager has been hugely supportive of me through the whole disastrous chain of events the past couple of years and is just lovely.  Every time she sees me she gives me a hug and says 'I don't know how the hell you keep going!'  Quite frankly neither do I!  But as I also like to tell Ali, life just keeps on moving, no matter what.  The world has this habit of just keeping on turning and whether its the outcome you want or not, things just have a way of working out.  Even so, there's only so much my bank manager can do, much as she wants to help me.  It's up to the Westpac powers that be to let me know what can and can't be done now.  As for pretty much everyone else, they've been amazing.  As soon as I finally have the courage to pick up the phone, apologise for ignoring their correspondence for weeks and explain about The Thing, they couldn't be more sympathetic and helpful and most of the time are happy for me to pay them off at as little as $10 a week.  When you owe so many people money it adds up to an awful lot of $10's a week!  But at least I feel like I'm doing something.

Still, this isn't supposed to be a doomy gloomy blog, I was just getting that stuff out of the way to explain the situation and the kind of money I need to find.  Now that's done, let's talk about something else.  After all, it's not just about me!  Ali - my baby! - is 18 in a few months and about to start his final year of school.  At this stage he wants to go to Uni next year and study to be a psychologist but who knows where his path will take him; that kid can be anything he wants to be if he puts his mind to it.  Liam has just passed his first year of Uni and he and his girlfriend have been working here all summer to support themselves and pay rent for their first flat when they go back to the big smoke in a month's time.  Liam has been doing anything from working in a local takeaway to spending 50 - 60 hours a week washing windows!  He knows how important the summer months are for uni students to save as much as they can in order to make the forthcoming year easier.  He's still got two years of his degree to go and I don't tell him this anywhere near enough but I'm so proud of him.  He's a good man; a really good man.

And then there's Gareth.  Don't ask me how I did it, I'm still pinching myself but somehow I've managed to bag myself quite possibly the nicest, most genuine bloke on the planet.  I know, right? How on earth has he not run screaming from my chaotic world?  I try to restrain myself from asking him that on a daily basis but no matter what life throws at me, and in turn him, by some miracle he continues to stick with me.  Take it from me, there are not too many blokes around like that. Funnily enough we actually met through one of my spontaneous attempts to save money.  It's a pretty cool - dare I say even romantic - story even if I say so myself and I look forward to sharing it with you soon.  But that's another blog...

So see, it's not all bad!  I still have lots of wonderful stuff going on.  And I still have my beloved Nawtypoo Cottage, at least for now.  Which I hope I never have to leave because recently I built my own vegetable garden and I am SO proud of it!  I built it all by myself for free using recycled timber the previous owners left behind and filled it partly with soil I already had and the rest from a local landscaper for a very reasonable price.  My mum and her partner Peter saved me a fortune on plants by growing lots of extra ones for me when they were sowing their own and I bought a few myself or got given them from friends.  No kidding, I have food coming out of my ears!  Tomatoes, courgettes, spring onions, carrots, lettuce, spinach, sorrel, rhubarb, beans, beans and more beans... my garden is saving me an absolute fortune on food, check it out!

Actually this photo is a few weeks old now, you can't even see the trellis for beans and more and my tomato plants are taller than me!  I would love to know how much my garden has saved me already, I would estimate it to be in the hundreds even after such a short time.  So I guess I really am making a difference to my finances, even if I don't think I am.  And we're eating better than ever too!

Tooth and Nail

Finally, the first official blog of the year!  And we're well overdue for a catch up, how long have you got?  I shall try and pack as much as I can into a nutshell but there's no easy way to say some of it. Firstly I must apologise for barely writing in so long.  Towards the end of last year I got a full time job, everything happened very suddenly and I just kind of disappeared from blog land overnight. Apart from the fact I was so flat out I didn't have time to write any more, all was lovely jubbly for a while.   After all the months of struggling to find work and not knowing where the next dollar was coming from, it was a brilliant feeling to know that regular money was finally coming in and my life was back on track and heading in the right direction.

The thing is, life has a way of throwing you off track just as quickly as it sets you on it and as we all know when it comes to me, life wouldn't be normal without a big curveball whacking me over the head!  You may have heard me mention before about The Thing I Can't Write About.  And I still can't and quite possibly will never be able to, but suffice to say the past seven or eight months have been absolute hell.  And to quote Forrest Gump as I am apt to do, 'that's all I have to say about that'. It's not just my hell though, others have been going through it with me just as much or even worse. But when it comes to the financial repercussions of the past eight months, this has been mine to carry alone.  As I write, I am close to losing everything.

How close?  Well I don't know because I've been too busy running away and hiding from everything you see. I knew bloody well everything was falling apart around me but I already had way too much on my plate to deal with people who didn't know me or didn't care. Did I give a stuff about being a whole $80 overdrawn or bills not being paid?  Did I hell.  There was nothing I could do about it anyway. Money had been hemmoraghing out of my account for months and I didn't have a hope of being able to catch up. Banks, phone calls, letters, emails - I was so scared to open my mail I didn't even know my divorce had gone through until three weeks after the letter arrived!  You can't imagine how happy I was to open it and discover it wasn't a bill!

As can happen when things get out of control, you stop looking after yourself.  Every day was just a blur and I stopped cooking and shopping properly; feeding whoever was around anything I could get my hands on just so they were fed and didn't bother me.  I also decided it was the perfect time to start drinking like a fish and smoking like a train, you know; just to help the financial situation even further!  Fortunately a New Year dawned and along with it new beginnings and new resolutions. And then I lost my job.  One minute I was working away at my desk, half an hour later I was packed up and home for good.  It was just unfortunate circumstances, nothing anyone could have done about it and no hard feelings.  But this meant that any chance I had of getting back on track had now gone flying out the window.

So now I'm Jack the Dole Bludger!  Not by choice you understand, I'd much rather be working but the reality of the situation is I can't go out to work right now, or look for a new job either.  I've been signed off for three months with acute stress and after that - well we'll just have to see where we're at. I've learned not to plan anything any more.  My local WINZ office has been amazing, everyone is so supportive and helpful and they are doing everything they can to get every cent I'm entitled to.  The only problem with that is, $477 a week barely even covers the mortgage, let alone any bills.  I won't bore you with the nitty gritty of my debts, that's a whole other blog.  I know there are countless people out there who are in far worse debt than me but that's not the point.  The scary part is not being able to see how you're ever going to catch up and the even bigger fear of falling further behind. And not having a plan.  I've always had a plan before but I'm all out of ideas right now.  I've sold everything I possibly can with the exception of my grandmothers (God rest their souls) and that alone has kept me afloat for a couple of years but there really is nothing else left I can see to part with.

There's only one possible way I can see of ever being able to get out of this situation.  After a long break I've joined Simple Savings again.  Reading through all the tips and discussions is like catching up with a dear friend.  There is so much I had forgotten!  So much I used to do that I don't do any more, and so much more I can do.  It's jogged my memory, but more importantly it's lit a fire in my belly.  I will NOT let this beat me.  I will NOT lose my house.  I will hang onto it tooth and nail.  And as I go along on this new stage of my journey I'll do my best to share as much I can with you, just in case it helps someone else.  Are you ready?  I think I'm going to be a busy wee blogger from now on!

The Day My Undies Fell Down

I still vividly remember my most embarrassing moment ever.  I was five years old.  Crazy isn't it? At the age of 43 I still haven't managed anything more embarrassing as an adult but I swear it's God's honest truth.  I wouldn't say it's my earliest memory, I have many fleeting ones here and there from further back.  But this is probably the first one I remember in its entirety.  Obviously the experience has scarred me for life, but now I look back, I like to think of it as my first encounter with a real life angel!

December 1977

Selborne, Hampshire (UK)

I know for a fact this momentous event in my young life occurred then because it was my mum's birthday in November and the whole episode came about due to one of her birthday presents.  When I was little one of my very favourite joys in life was when Nanny and Grandad used to come and visit and bring THE CATALOGUE.  Oh how I loved those catalogues!  There was Grattan's, there was Kays – enormous great volumes they were, honestly they make today's Ezibuy catalogue look like something you'd blow your nose with.  They were full of pages and pages of clothes and TOYS – oh so many toys – and STUFF.  Stuff you just couldn't get anywhere else and I would spend hours browsing the hallowed pages.  Nanny and Grandad used to buy all sorts of things from these catalogues and it's only now I realise that it was because they couldn't go shopping.  Grandad couldn't drive and Nanny, well she couldn't walk, she was paralysed. Nanny had never been able to walk as long as I had been in the world and I never thought to question why, that was just how it was.

Birthdays and Christmas were an especially exciting time of year because you knew everyone would get something from THE CATALOGUE and my mum's birthday was no exception.  This year proved to be the best yet!  I'm not sure if my mother felt the same way but I was absolutely enchanted with her gift from Nanny and Grandad.  New undies!  Seven pairs to exact, one for each day of the week. I knew for a fact that's what they were intended for because each one bore the name of a different day. How ingenious I thought!  Not only that, they were so pretty, each day of the week written in flowing scripty writing and surrounded by different types of flowers.  I thought they were the most beautiful undies I had ever seen.

Mum on the other hand seemed in no hurry to try them on.  I couldn't believe it – what on earth was wrong with the woman?  I would have done anything to have undies like that!  But instead of tearing them all open enthusiastically and proudly pulling up a brand new day every morning, she put them on top of her 1970's leather ottoman.  And there they stayed.  Days turned into weeks and still they remained, neatly and individually wrapped in cellophane. In the end I could stand no more.  If my mother wasn't going to appreciate these beautiful undies, well I would!  So I hatched a plan.  Surely she wouldn't notice if just ONE pair went missing?  She had so many!  All I had to do now was wait a few days for the right day and that was Friday.  I chose Friday because the undies for that day were purple and that was my favourite colour.  It still is!  Such an elaborate subterfuge takes careful timing.  I didn't want anything to go wrong on the day so I waited until one afternoon when she was safely out of sight and snuck into her room.  My heart thumped and my tiny hands shook as I quickly
flicked through the pairs until Friday was safely in my grasp, then bolted to my room and hid them where all the most precious and secret things went – in the bottom of my deep, dark wardrobe.

It felt as though Friday would never come but eventually it dawned and I bounced out of bed in excitement!  At last I would get to wear my beautiful undies!  Mum on the other hand STILL hadn't even moved the other six pairs from on top of the ottoman.  My plan had gone off without a hitch!  I went off to school feeling incredibly nervous.  What would people say if they knew I was wearing big girls' undies?  Seeing as nobody saw my normal undies as a rule the chances of getting found out were incredibly slim but even so, it meant handstands and cartwheels were DEFINITELY out of the question at least for today.  Nobody could ever know – especially Lindsay Allan.

Lindsay was my very first crush.  He had black hair and lots of freckles.  He was eight and I was only five but he wasn't mean like the other big boys, he was nice.  Even when he found out I had a crush on him he wasn't mean.  A few weeks before, one of the big girls had told him I had written 'I love Linsey' in my secret Mr Men notebook and I was mortified when he came up to me in the playground.  'Can I see it?' he asked.  In fear and trepidation I pulled it out.  What was going to happen now?!  Michael Povey (another one of the big boys) had already called me a dipstick when I missed the ball playing rounders.  Even worse, Paul Cannings had pulled faces at me when we were singing Christmas carols and said I looked stupid dressed up as one of the Wise Men.  What terrible thing was this guy going to do to me?

'You've spelled my name wrong!' he smiled.  'Have you got a pencil?'  Dumbstruck, I handed one to him and watched in amazement as he wrote down the correct spelling.  'There you go!' he grinned and patted me on the head before running off to join the other big boys playing football.  From that day forward I never forgot how to spell his name! Even so, I still didn't want him or anyone else seeing my undies, beautiful as they were and as the day progressed I discovered to my distress that they were a tad too big.  Actually more than a tad, I was having trouble getting them to stay up.  Fortunately when you're only five you can get away with going to the loo a lot and that, combined with a few subtle pull-ups in the book corner meant I successfully managed to get through to the end of school.  Yippee!  I had done it.  I had worn my beautiful big girl's undies all day!  It would be my secret and mine alone forever and ever.

Our primary school was so tiny it was more like a big house than a school really.  It sat on top of a big hill and at the end of each day us little ones would run down the long snaking driveway to the bottom of the hill where the parents waited to take us home.  Miss Butler the headmistress stood outside the door ringing the big brass bell and I was off like a robber's dog.  I couldn't wait to get these bloody undies off and put some smaller ones on, they were driving me mad!  So I ran, school bag swinging, bowl cut flopping and just like always by the time I got from the top of the hill to the bottom my knee-high socks had managed to work their way down.  Except today they weren't the only things which had worked their way down.  By the time I reached the bottom of the hill, my undies – my beautiful purple Friday undies from THE CATALOGUE which nobody was supposed to know about forever and ever – were down around my ankles.  And I just stood there, frozen as all the parents and all the kids who had already reached the bottom of the hill before me, looked on.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, a grey-haired lady with glasses and a kind face stepped forward. Quick as a wink and without saying a word, she whipped them up from round my ankles and back to where they should be, before stepping back again as though nothing had ever happened.  It was Lindsay Allan's mum.  I wanted to die of shame, of all people to come to my rescue!  I don't remember too much after that.  Obviously I got sprung wearing Mum's new undies but we're still on talking terms 38 years later so she must have forgiven me.  I sure as hell never worried about trying to pinch the other six pairs though, she was welcome to those!  What I remember most of all about the whole episode is the kindness of Nancy Allan.  To this day I have never forgotten it!  It wasn't hard to see where her son got his kind heart and gentle nature from and that has been something he has carried throughout his entire life.  I know that for a fact because although our paths didn't cross much during the rest of our school years, as an adult I got to know him and his whole family very well.  In fact he and his brother were ushers at my wedding and he even came to visit us in NZ!  I have no idea if he or his mum remember either me having a crush on him or my undies falling down – but I won't remind them if you don't!