Going Batty

Good grief it's just 10 days until we move, has life gone just a bit mental or what?  I can't believe how fast the time is going, I'm rushing around like a mad thing.  Unlike other house moves I've ever done previously, this time it's not just a question of packing things up in boxes to take to the next place. It's a question of packing up a bit of stuff for me but the basics such as washing machine, microwave and other essentials are all going to the boys for their respective flats.  Anything they don't want has been unearthed and listed on our local Buy and Sell Facebook page, which is a big job in itself as there is a surprising amount of stuff when you start emptying a house!  I'm sure the locals will be very glad when I'm gone and no longer swamping their Facebook news feeds but I am grateful to each and every person who has ever bought an item from me, no matter how small.  They made not realise it but they have not just been helping me declutter, but also helping me put food on the table and I honestly don't know what I would have done without them.

And there is still so much more to be done!  But I really wanted to stop packing for a moment so that I could at least introduce you to Batty.  Short for 'The Batmobile', Batty is not only our new vehicle but our new home for the next while at least.  She has been lovingly converted and certified fully self contained by her previous owner and she is beautiful.  We can't wait to start our adventures around NZ with her!  But I really wanted to share the story of how we came to find her - or perhaps she found us.

Looking for a vehicle was hard as you can imagine when we didn't have wheels ourselves to be able to go and check any out but nonetheless it didn't stop me from trawling the web endlessly for a suitable camper van.  Initially the plan was to go for a big motor home but once we realised that our plan to live permanently on the road had morphed into finding some land to build a tiny house, we decided that we would go for a camper van instead as it would enable us to invest more money into land and building rather than a vehicle. Most of the camper vans we saw were located at least two hours away or often half way down the country and it was getting a tad frustrating not being able to get to them. Just as I had almost given up hope of us being able to get sorted with anything, this gleaming black camper jumped out at me.  It looked perfect - and it was only 40 minutes away!  Already we really liked the look of this one, it looked exactly what we were after and so well cared for, with less than half the kilometres on the clock than any of the others we had seen.  As soon as the house went unconditional, we arranged to go and see the owners, who were selling on behalf of their daughter.

I'm a bit of a believer in signs, me, and from the start I rather liked the number plate, which was JAL.  'Jackie, Ali, Liam' I smiled to myself.  I also liked the owners straight away and as we checked out the interior I couldn't help but notice that the blinds at the windows had been beautifully handmade from the same material as our lounge curtains!  Even the squabs which made up the seats and mattress had been made by hand.  'Let's go for a test drive!' said the owner, Robin.  As we climbed in I noticed approvingly how spacious and comfortable it was.  'This will be perfect for me to work in', I smiled as we went along.  'What do you do?' asked Robin.  'I'm a writer', I replied somewhat shyly as I always feel that being a writer doesn't sound like a 'proper' job.  'Oh really? What sort of stuff do you write?' she asked.  'I work for a company in Australia, we teach people how to save money.  I also used to write for That's Life magazine', I explained.  I certainly didn't expect what came next.  'Are you Penny Wise?' Robin said, looking straight at me in surprise.  'Yes!  I am!' I said back, equally surprised.  'You've got the two little boys - well, big boys now!  I've read your stuff for years!' Robin laughed.  She even used to be a Simple Savings member!

We were still laughing when we got back to the house.  I'd already had a good feeling about the camper van but even more so now!  It really did seem as though it was meant for us.  Even so, as I went for one final walk around the outside I began feeling rather nervous.  This was it - I was about to exchange living in a house like a 'normal' person for living in this van.  Was it going to be big enough? Was I doing the right thing?  What the heck was I thinking?!' I was literally almost shaking. In the meantime, Gareth had thought of one more important thing we hadn't checked out yet.  'Does the stereo work any good?' he grinned.  'Yes, it goes great! See for yourself!' said Robin, switching it on.  And I almost fell backwards.

The song which blared out of the speakers was a song I hadn't heard in almost 20 years.  A song I hadn't been able to bring myself to listen to.  'Stranger on the Shore' by Acker Bilk was mine and my dad's special song.  When I was nine years old I learned to play the clarinet just so that I could play that song for him.  When I was 25 and half a world away when my dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer I played it endlessly as it brought me comfort and made me feel closer to him.  When he passed away a few months later, I put the song on a CD and sent it to the vicar in the UK so that he could play it at dad's funeral in the church I sang in as a kid, from me.  But from the day he died, I hadn't been able to listen to that song any more. Not since 1997.  For almost two decades I had been scared to listen to it as I couldn't bear the emotion it released and now here it was playing joyfully in front of Gareth and these people I had never met, who couldn't possibly know what it meant to me and I had to hold myself together.  But once I got over the shock I realised that hearing it wasn't making me sad.  It was making me happy!  It was as if Dad was saying 'Go for it Jack, it's going to be alright'.  If that wasn't a sign, I didn't know what was.

A few short days later, I met Robin and her husband half way and she handed me the keys.  As I sat behind the wheel of what we had affectionately named 'The Batmobile' it felt as though I had been driving her for ages!  We said our farewells and then Batty and I set off for our maiden voyage together along the windy mountain road in the sunshine.  Robin insisted I keep the CD with my special song on it and this time I had no reservations about listening to it; it just made me smile. Whilst neither Gareth or I profess to be mechanically minded, everyone who has seen Batty thinks she is a wonderful investment.  I love that she is so shiny and comfy but most of all I love the personal touches which make her extra special to us, such as the cushion and blanket Robin's daughter (Batty's previous owner) made for us and the black and white cat cushion given to us by our friend Victoria who runs the local cat rescue charity we volunteer for.  In just 10 days we will be not only passengers but inhabitants!  And we can't wait!

Reflections

Just five days until our house sale goes unconditional and I should really be packing and trying to work out how I'm going to fit our whole lives into a camper van but I don't want to jinx anything between now and next Wednesday.  When we reach the point of no going back, that's when I'll really swing into action.  For now, I'm just using this time as a quiet time of reflection.  A time for walking, a time for thinking.  Thinking about the past, thinking about the future, who I was and who I am.  I'm about to embark on a huge journey; but when I look back over the past few years I've actually been on one all along.

Tomorrow it will be six years to the day since I moved to Whangamata.  It's a funny old place, I love it and hate it at the same time.  It has been both my paradise and my prison.  It will always have a special place in my heart and I will miss it dreadfully - but I will also be glad to leave.  I never thought six years ago I would be saying that!  It doesn't matter how beautiful a place is though, if you are not happy there you might as well be anywhere.  This time I have no plans, no expectations.  My only wish is to live a peaceful life, a simple life.

Which is just as well because with each day that passes it occurs to me  what I am choosing to live without.  Every time I do the vacuuming or hang out an enormous load of washing from my 7kg washing machine I think to myself 'Wow, in a few weeks I'm never going to have to do this any more!'  I will no longer have to worry about mowing lawns, washing floors or a million other things I usually have to allocate my time to.  Instead I'm concerning myself more with things such as 'how am I going to get rid of all this stuff?', 'how many clothes should I pack?'  and 'will we have room for...?' It makes me happy, to be honest, the thought of not having much stuff any more.  It's very liberating.

When you're downsizing to the extent we are, you really do have to consider every little thing and the point of it, its use and its worth.  Even something as simple and mundane as a bottle of moisturiser has to be considered.  'Am I really going to need this?'  I ask myself.  'Yes Jack, you have wrinkles, you cannot live without it', comes the reply.  Fair call.  Not to mention it's the only product I actually use on my skin.  For several years now I have used nothing but water to cleanse my face and my skin has never been better.  A far cry from the old me who used to spend a fortune on Lush products and thought I could never survive without them!

And then there's my wardrobe.  I don't wear hardly any of the clothes in there now so the chances of wearing them any time in the future are even less.  I guess I'll just have to narrow it down to my favourites.  Same as shoes, I don't think I'll be getting too many opportunities to wear heels from now on!  I really don't care though.  I don't feel sad at having to leave any of my possessions behind.  I think I've been decluttering and unconsciously downsizing for so long that I don't have too much left anyway.  At least Ali will be set up for when he gets his own place - TV, microwave, washing machine, furniture, he can have it all!  The only thing I'm keeping is Roger the writing desk and a beautiful marble topped table I bought years ago which is going to be the main feature of my tiny house kitchen.  They'll both have to go in to storage until the time comes.

When I think about it, I've been an extreme minimalist for a long time time now; I've just been stuck in a regular house with all this other stuff because I've had to be.  Let's face it, an empty house looks a bit weird!  But the few things I do treasure bring me such immense joy and they will continue to do so in our tiny house when we get one.  One of the things I'm looking forward to most is the lack of screens and technology - oh lordy I'm looking forward to that!  Not wasting my time scrolling through crap on the Internet, not being constantly interrupted by messages, alarms, reminders or notifications.  Obviously I will still need a computer and Internet access to be able to do my work but I am planning for this to be as limited as possible.

What I am really looking forward to is cooking on the road.  Sure, it's a bit more challenging but that's half the fun!  I've been researching it a lot and I think we'll manage just fine.  I'm also looking forward to spending our time more simply; playing board games, listening to music, reading and being more creative rather than watching movies.  Finding new locations to explore and taking our fat little spaniel on leisurely strolls in beautiful places.  It will be a whole new lease of life for her as well as us!  And one thing we definitely intend to do is invest in a video camera so we can document and share our travels and our journey to finding the perfect spot for, and building our tiny home.

Living on the road may not be as easy as living in a comfortable house but I'm interested to see in how the change and pace in lifestyle will affect me healthwise.  I know Gareth is worried about me as my immune system isn't the best but I actually think the freedom of our new way of living will have a positive effect.  These past few years have really taken their toll on me physically, mentally and emotionally.  Most days I literally feel 100.  OK, intellectually I still feel about 12 but physically I am really not reflecting that!  I am hoping that the simplicity and reduction in stress levels will give me a new lease of life and an increase in vitality.

Most of all, I am excited to be embarking on this new chapter of my life with my soul mate.  Every day I still pinch myself that this beautiful, gentle soul chooses to share his life with me.  I never dreamed that I could be so ridiculously happy and content.  These past six years have been one hell of a rollercoaster and I have undergone a huge shift as a person.  I have hated myself, my situation, my decisions and my life to the point I have wanted to end it.  My children were the only thing that stopped me walking into the sea. The only other thing which really kept me going was the belief that I was a good person and that good things happen to good people.  And right when I started truly believing that and became comfortable with who I was, that's when I met Gareth.

Why am I sharing that?  I don't know.  I've never really told anyone, it's not the kind of thing you just casually bring up is it?  Certainly not when you're going through it anyway, I guess I feel able to now having been through the darkest times and come out the other side.  I guess I'm also sharing it to give people hope, because somebody out there might just need it.  If there's one thing I have learned through all these years of writing about my life it's that there's usually someone reading it who is going through the same, or worse.  And every time that happens I realise how important it is for us all to realise that we're not alone.  It's even more important for us all to realise that things do get better. Some people say that if you want your life to get better you have to make things happen.  I don't know if that's true or whether they just happen anyway but there's no harm in trying.  I may not have had a choice when it came to selling my house; but when it came to choosing my future I most certainly did.  In fact it's more than just a future, it's a dream!  Not bad for a ditzy chick like me ay? Just goes to show, when you hit rock bottom there really is only one direction you can go - and that's up!

One Month's Notice (eeek!)

Well goodness gracious me and golly gosh.  What a crazy whirlwind of a week it's been and no mistake.  I'm still struggling to take everything in and my mind is one horrendous jumble of things I need to think about and things I really don't want to think about but have to deal with pronto.

In case you didn't see my Facebook post earlier in the week, Nawtypoo Cottage found a new owner on the very first day of listing - I think it actually took nine hours from the 'For Sale' sign going up that morning to the Sale and Purchase agreement being signed that night.  Whilst we still have another ten days until the sale goes unconditional, the moving date is exactly one month away so we have no time to waste.  Not long at all, is it!  No wonder I'm panicking.  But I'm also very, very happy.

No doubt some of you are thinking 'Call yourself a Simple Saver?  Why didn't you sell it yourself and save on commission?' Several reasons.  As I already explained previously, left up to me I would have never got around to listing the property.  It would never have been ready in my eyes.  Saying that, there is only one agent I would have ever trusted Nawtypoo with and that was the lady who sold her to me.  She also sold our previous home.  I trust her implicitly and I knew she would both look after me and find the right owner for my beloved little house.  We have been through a lot together and I don't just consider her an agent but also a dear friend.  She also REALLY knows her stuff.  Again, left up to me, I would never have been happy to list until I had painted every wall, fitted out the entire place with new curtains, restained all the timber - the list would have never ended.  In the end all it needed was a visit from Nancy who simply said  'mow the lawn, waterblast the outside and paint the kitchen ceiling and you'll be good to go'.  She was right, the difference was amazing.

Not that we didn't have our fair share of trials and tribulations getting there however!  Gareth and I worked tirelessly for three days straight from dawn til dusk, cleaning every inch of the house.  Whilst it was knackering it was also really rewarding to see how well we worked together as a team.  I don't know what I would have done without him.  We even learned how to fix holes in walls (which was necessary after recently acquiring a free couch for Ali's room and accidentally sticking one of its feet through the wall trying to manouevre it through the door).  A quick YouTube tutorial soon had Gareth gibbing and plastering like a pro!

Although the painting of the ceiling didn't go QUITE so smoothly.  We did find not having a vehicle a bit of a challenge at times when it came to cleaning up and getting the things that we needed quickly. Discovering too late that Ali had disposed of the paint roller, we had no choice but to use the brand new 'speed brush' pad to do the job.  It wasn't really intended for ceilings but it was all we had and couldn't afford to lose an hour walking to Bunnings to get another roller.  For Gareth it was his first time painting and he wasn't enjoying it one bit.  For starters the speed brush was proving hopelessly unsuitable and the paint was going on much too thick, resulting in a far from smooth finish.  However he also didn't notice until too late that despite putting dust sheets all over the floor, the paint was dripping all over them and he in turn was treading it through the dustsheets and all over the carpet. Can you imagine the horror on both our faces upon lifting the sheet and discovering splodge after splodge of white paint all over the deep charcoal carpet?!

Gareth called a cab and made a mercy dash to Bunnings to pick up a new roller whilst I rang Nancy in a panic and she called out a carpet cleaner.  Quick as a flash he came around and had a good old chuckle at our mishap!  Not only did he manage to make the carpet as good as new again, he also gave Gareth a painting lesson, helped us to fix the ceiling, left us a spare paint roller he had in the car AND didn't charge us for ANYTHING, not even the carpet!

It was people like him in the end who really made the stress of those few days not only bearable but really heartwarming and although there was a lot of swearing from both me and Gareth along the way, we both felt truly blessed to know and meet such kind and awesome souls.  After spending several months cooking in the dark and picking that the new owner would probably prefer lighting in the kitchen, I gave up on the bigger companies who had never returned my phone calls and instead rang a retired electrician who had been one of my favourite customers from my bartending days.  He came around the following morning, just as he said he would, and it cost me just $35 to repair three lights.  I dread to think how much the bigger companies would have charged me but I imagine it would have cost a lot more than that!

We could hardly believe it, we never dreamed we would make the Wednesday morning deadline in time but by Tuesday night as we looked around in satisfaction we realised, we had actually done it! We were so exhausted we were almost falling asleep where we stood (to the extent that at one stage I actually began painting the kitchen wall instead of the ceiling until Gareth asked nicely what the hell I was doing) but we had DONE it and it was looking fab.  All that remained was to run the vacuum cleaner around first thing in the morning and we would be ready for all the agents to parade through at 9am.

Which was fine in theory, until I went to turn on the vacuum cleaner that morning and discovered it was completely stuffed.  There was no saving it and with less than an hour until the house was due to open we were in a horrendous panic.  After three days of everyone traipsing through the house the floors were in a heck of a state, no way could we let anyone through looking like that!  There was nothing else we could do but SOS for a taxi again and Gareth made another dash in to Bunnings for a new vacuum cleaner.  Thank goodness for staff discount!  Before we knew it the job was done, the house was finally finished and the two of us took a deep breath, locked the door behind us and left Nawtypoo Cottage in the capable hands of our agent.

The rest as they say, is history.  A lot of people passed through the doors of our little home that day but one of them loved Nawtypoo just as much as I do.  I knew the instant I met her that she was the one.  The next month is going to be crazy.  There is so much to sort out!  We need to sort out a vehicle for us to live in.  We need to sort out storage for the few things we want to keep.  We need to sort out what the hell we are going to do with four cats.  It breaks my heart but I can't see how they are all going to be able to come with us.  Even putting them in a cattery isn't an option at $560 a week for all of them!  I really need to do something about that.  It's the only thing which really takes the shine off things for me.  We will miss them dreadfully.

 My biggest concern is helping Ali to find a new home.  He wants to stay in Whangamata, where his job and his friends are - but there are absolutely no rentals available in this town and hasn't been in longer than any of us can remember.  He would love to flat with some of his mates but they all still live at home.  You can imagine the guilt that I feel, not being able to provide the same for him.  I just hope we can find him something soon, where he will feel comfortable and happy.  He's a very responsible young chap.  Well trained and domesticated and a capable cook.  Loves really good coffee, hardly ever touches alcohol and if I say so myself has excellent taste in music.  When I know he's going to be OK and has a roof over his head, then I can finally allow myself to be excited.  He's been my right hand man for so long, it's going to be pretty weird without him.  But I hope it will be the making of him too.  It's been a hellishly rough few years.  Something good surely has to come out of all this!

Will the real Sad Sally please stand up?

It's proving to be a funny old week already and it's only Tuesday.  The whole of the Coromandel Peninsula is flooded and parts of it have been cut off since Sunday.  I couldn't go anywhere if I wanted to but it's just as well as today is my third day in bed with a horrible head/stomach virus.  The worst part is not being able to visit my mum in hospital and feeling so helpless and far away. Fortunately Liam is working in the same city as the hospital so has been able to go and visit her but as her only child I feel terrible at not being able to be with her during something so huge and traumatic.  Hopefully she is through the worst now but has had a couple of really horrendous days. Still, in typical Mum style she's managed to keep her sense of humour, although even she was a bit lost for words when the doctor asked if she would like to take her newly removed and far from healthy bowel home to bury in the garden!  One positive thing to come out of this is that keeping everyone updated on Mum's progress has put me back in touch with some family members on the other side of the world who I haven't spoken to for years.  It's lovely and just goes to show there really is nothing like family. It's been almost 25 years since I've seen most of mine and that's far too long.

It's a bit of a pain that all the dreadful weather and me being sick is also causing delays getting the house all ready for viewing.  You can't mow the lawns or weed the garden when it's full of puddles and this rotten weather is supposed to continue all week!  At least I can still write.  The great thing about working from home is that as long as your brain is still functioning you can still work, even if you're sick.  This morning I'm writing the Simple Savings newsletter propped up in bed with a snoring dog at my feet and a rescue kitten next to me chasing the raindrops as they run down the window.  The September one is already done but I don't know if it will go out in time as Matt and Fiona are away until October and unfortunately thanks to a last minute glitch as they were preparing to leave it was unable to be sent out.  Still, I hope people enjoy reading it when they get it!

Some subjects are harder to write about than others and the September theme of preparing for retirement was quite a challenge.  I did a lot of research on the subject for a long time and learned a huge amount but my overwhelming and recurring throught whilst doing my homework was WHY DOES NOBODY TELL US THIS AT SCHOOL?!!  According to both the NZ and Australian governments, we should all be aiming to retire with at least a million dollars in the bank.  This is not something that you want to be hearing about when you're 43 for God's sake!  At least I'm not alone there, I don't know anyone else with six figures in the bank either, not that it's the kind of thing you really ask people.  The point is, EVERYONE should be told this stuff before they even enter the workplace and WHY it is so important so that it doesn't get put on the backburner.  It's not freaking hard!  If someone had told me when I left school that I needed to save a million dollars by the time I was 65 I would have started a retirement fund then and there!  As it is, according to a recent documentary by Nigel Latta (himself a very smart and respectable chap who by his own admission will not have even half a million in the bank by the time he retires, no matter how hard he saves) a growing number of people quite simply will not be able to retire at all.  A sobering thought indeed.

Still, October's newsletter is already proving enjoyable to write and is always a lot easier when I have personal experience to draw upon.  You see the most evidence of this in the Sad Sally stories as her character is loosely based upon myself - or at least what I used to be like before I joined Simple Savings, just without the blonde hair and big boobs.   What Sally says and does comes very easily to me.  For years my kids have likened me to Bridget Jones and Sally is a bit like that too; disaster prone, disorganised and a hopelessly messy cook.  Always well meaning but a bit clueless, with a long suffering partner who is well aware of all her flaws but loves her anyway.  Sally and Hanna arrived in Simple Savings land in November 2004, shortly after I did.  When Fiona got me to write the first story I didn't really know what the heck she was getting at.  I certainly never thought I would still be writing them 12 years later!  But Fiona is a smart lady and knows that there is a Sad Sally or a Happy Hanna in each and every one of us.  Which one we choose to be is up to us - but we do have a choice.

When the stories first started they didn't even have illustrations, so all I could do was imagine how Sally would behave.  Back then it hadn't been too long since I myself had been the one hiding credit cards and statements from my husband and stretching the truth about how much things had cost (make that more like halving than stretching!) so channelling Sally the shopaholic was easy.  Hanna, on the other hand?  I didn't know anyone like Hanna.  I'd never met anyone back then who was living the dream and always got things right.  We used to have a standing joke that if Hanna was real we'd throw a stapler at her head for being too perfect, too much of a goody two shoes.  But I don't feel like that about her any more.  If Hanna was real these days I would hope to be her friend.  When I write as Hanna I think of her as being like some of my favourite Simple Savings members.  Sweet, kind and a genuinely good person who just values the things in life which are important.  When I think about it, I still write Sally as myself when in fact I've actually evolved into far more of a Hanna!  I guess that's the thing though isn't it?  That's been the point of the stories all along, to see if people can spot themselves in any of the characters and their traits.  The very first stories always used to end with 'Who are you most like, Sally or Hanna?  Which one would you rather be?'

I don't slip up too often these days but I did have a real Sad Sally experience last week I am still cringing about!  You may remember Gareth and I recently celebrating Parsley Day, which marked our first year together.  Seeing as he had only just started a new job that week and hadn't been paid yet, we celebrated in true romantic style with him shouting me a pie from the bakery.  The following week however, having received his first pay, he wanted to get me something a little more special to mark the occasion.  I'm not much of a jewellery person but I had recently mentioned seeing a beautiful ring at the local jewellers when getting a new watch battery.  It was from NZ brand Evolve and the bright blue of the stone really jumped out at me.  It made me think of blue sky and clear water and it just made me happy.  So he knew just what to get me and I love it!  Most definitely Number 1 on my 'favourite things' list.

I love the tiny diamonds too, to me they look like cute bubbles in the water.  I wanted to reciprocate in kind and knew just what I wanted to get him too.  Being Welsh, Gareth is proud of his Celtic heritage and I wanted to get him a ring to reflect that.  I found the perfect one online, a silver band with gold insert featuring an engraved pattern of Celtic knots and even better, a dragon.  What better could there be for a Welshman!

                                                      

I had to move fast as there was only one left but it happened to be the right size, hooray!  It was a bargain too, at only $50.  I admit, the price did make me think twice but it was Trade Me after all and I had bought countless things from there over the years including jewellery with no problem. It never said in the description that the gold band was 9 carat or anything but that didn't matter.  Reluctantly I allowed Gareth to see the picture, just to make sure he would like it, which he did and promptly hit 'Buy Now'.  For the next few days we couldn't wait for the ring to arrive!  When it did he was at work.  I excitedly grabbed the package from the courier and took out the gift box.  Straight away I had a feeling that the ring inside may not be as we envisaged.  The tacky gold box with a bow looked like something out of one of the jewellery parties I used to go to with my mum as a kid.  I opened the box and... OK, well I admit I said 'What the f***?'

The ring, supposedly made of titanium looked almost plastic and was sealed over the top with this sort of clear resin stuff.  As for the gold band with the carvings?  No word of a lie, it looked like a sticker!  It was so bright and sparkly it looked like someone had gone to town with a bottle of glitter nail polish, and the Celtic knot and dragons which had appeared so beautifully etched in the photo above, you couldn't even see.  It even had bubbles in it and bits of 'gold' missing.  All in all it looked like something you would expect to find in a Christmas cracker.  I'd been had good and proper, and to top it off Gareth had had a rotten day at work.  'Ah well, day off tomorrow.  I'm looking forward to getting my ring, hope it arrives!' he said, brightening up at the thought.  'Um, yes.  About that', I said nervously.  From memory I think his reaction was the same as mine upon opening the box but by that time I found the whole scenario so bad that it was actually funny.  Needless to say I shall be sending the ring back and contacting Trade Me for false advertising! I have since seen the 'real thing' online at genuine Celtic jewellery retailers for around $1,400.   For now, the search goes on for a suitable replacement!

These are a few of my favourite things...

According to my records, today is my 84th smoke free day and my 50th alcohol free day.  Which means according to my maths I have saved approximately $2,338.  Understandably I am stoked.  Not to mention more than a little bit shocked at how quickly that amount has added up but I am feeling over the moon to think that amount is money that I haven't spent.  Whilst my bank account isn't exactly overflowing as proof, I dread to think what sort of state we would be in if I HAD spent that money and I do admit to feeling that on the whole, we are doing better lately.

Another big reason for the lack of spending is of course having no car.  Since Mildred's demise we have only resorted to using a taxi once, due to genuinely horrendous weather, the rest of time we simply walk.  Gareth and I are a familiar sight these days walking along together and we often get offered lifts, although we rarely take them because on the whole, we like walking.  His workplace is around half an hour's walk away and we do the twice daily journey together.  Initially I did it mainly to keep him company and to get some exercise seeing as I spend a good part of the rest of the day sitting on my bum writing but as it turns out it's actually a really nice catch up time for both of us, to have a good old chinwag about our day and whatever else we have going on. It's a good way to start the day too, by the time we reach our destination we're wide awake and ready to put a good day's work in.  There's also the added bonus of the supermarket being right across the road from his workplace too, so forgetting things such as milk and bread is now no longer a problem!  Fresh air and companionship aside though, I am REALLY noticing the difference of no longer having to pay the finance company, registration, insurance, petrol... I don't think we realise how much money we throw at and into our cars until you don't have one any more.  It can be a bit of a pain sometimes but so far it's well worth it.  I might feel a bit of a hippie choosing not to have a car but I definitely don't feel deprived!

In case you haven't seen my Facebook posts, it's been a bit of a wonky week.  I have made the decision to list Nawtypoo Cottage with the lovely agent who sold her to me.  My heart was telling me from the start that this was the way to go but my head and other people were urging me to sell privately and save on commission.  Thing is, even though I'm finally getting all my ducks in a row I'm still pretty stressed.  We have a lot going on, not least my mum was recently diagnosed with bowel cancer and just yesterday underwent a huge operation to remove it.  As you can imagine, it's been on my mind rather a lot, as indeed it has for all of us and day after day I had people wanting to come and look at the house, yet day after day I was managing to achieve nothing but walking round and round in circles trying to decide where to start.  Left up to me the house would never have been immaculate enough in my eyes for me to take photos and plaster all over the Internet.  As mum told me just the other day, I am the world's biggest procrastinator!  I know my agent will do a wonderful job, just as she has done for me twice before.  Now I just have to take a deep breath and allow people to come and have a look.

When I'm not cleaning, or stressing about cleaning, I'm gleaning information and watching videos about living on the road and building tiny houses.  That's our ultimate dream at the moment, to live on the road and travel around until we find a perfect place to build a tiny house.  Just thinking about it fills me with so much joy!  One thing is for certain, the boys will be doing very well out of me when the time comes to move as we really won't be able to take anything more than the barest essentials and our very favourite things with us.  Even Gareth's beloved guitar amps will need to be rehomed!  I had to laugh recently when cancelling Mildred's insurance policy.  I thought I would check out of interest how much my house contents were insured for and couldn't believe it when I was told $125,000 - what was I thinking?!  I wouldn't even have $20,000 worth of stuff now!  I managed to knock my cover down to the princely sum of $8,000.

I think that would be one of the character traits I'm most proud of these days, the fact that I'm so minimalist.  Especially considering how I used to be so completely the opposite. I genuinely don't want or need stuff!  It kind of frustrates me that I still have to have all this stuff around until we move when my list of things I want to take with me is so small.  Just for fun and because I love them and want to share them, here are some of my most favourite things.  These are the things which will be coming with me.  I don't think any of them were bought new!

My gingerbread man cookie jar, $5 from St John's op shop.  

He always makes me happy and makes me want to bake yummy things to fill him up with!

My pot belly stove essential oil burner, $2.00 from Trade Me.  In a previous life I was studying to be

an aromatherapist and owned 22 oil burners.  This is the only one I have now, it's too cute

and unique to part with. 

My cherry cup and saucer, free from the local cat rescue charity shop.

I don't even drink tea but it makes me happy just to look at it!

My Union Jack cushions, $8 for the pair from St John's op shop.

Couldn't resist this cheery reminder of home!

My leopard print lamp, $15 from a local lady who repurposes and upcycles.

I'm a bit of a lamp nut, can never have too many but this is my favourite!

My fondue set, free from the local Koha Shed.  Told you I was a hippie!

Roger the writing desk.  This is the only piece of furniture I know of which is coming with me.  He was free from my local Buy and Sell Facebook page and I saved him from the dump!  Roger houses several of my favourite things such as my rose quartz crystal, my heart shaped salt lamp, the Jade Buddha my mum bought me from overseas, my favourite books (Mrs Beeton's Everyday Cookery and Housekeeping and The World of Pooh by AA Milne), my favourite photo, the mini herb and vegetable pots I'm collecting from a current supermarket promotion and sitting to my left is Tessie Bear, an adorable fully jointed, rubber-nosed teddy who is the same age as me.  I also have two favourite framed pictures, one is above Roger as you can see, which is a Maiko Ngaio print (which I bought brand new but still asked the artist herself for a discount and she gave me 20% off) and says 'She believed she could so she did' and the other is an original Love Lis print of a lioness wearing a tiara.  Sounds corny but I guess you could say both of them remind me of who I am and what I'm capable of.  Gareth always thinks I'm bonkers when I talk about the importance of Feng Shui and the art of placement but looking at that list I think I'm pretty good at the Japanese KonMari art of decluttering as well - keep only the things which bring you joy!

Caution to the Wind

So let's see, where are we up to?  Last time we spoke, before I got sidetracked by a jinxed purple Mazda and a cute blonde Welshman, I had made the rather monumental (for me) decision to sell Nawtypoo Cottage.  Having come quite accidentally and unexpectedly to this conclusion, something rather funny happened almost immediately.  I put the glass down.  If you don't know what this expression means, click on the link and watch it right now because there are a lot of people out there holding glasses.  It was as though an immense cloud, which had been hanging over me since goodness only knows when, decided to just float away.  I started sleeping again and I stopped worrying.  Literally just like that.  Incidentally I really appreciate everyone's wise and supportive words, it meant a lot to me to know your thoughts.

So we are on the market and if I'm honest with myself I detached my feelings from Nawtypoo probably a good year ago.  We haven't got around to listing yet, I just need to stop procrastinating and worrying whether everything is clean and tidy enough and be brave and let people in.  The subject of listing or selling privately is a whole separate blog which I'm currently struggling with so today we will go with the big question everyone is asking me - 'Where are you going?'  To which I immediately and uncontrollably beam back at them, all toothy and twinkly-eyed 'Everywhere!'   Yes dear reader, I am going to buy a motorhome!  To be honest, it's always been my plan, my dream.  I've been researching this lifestyle for months.  I'm just very lucky that now I get to achieve my dream a little earlier than planned, and with the love of my life in tow rather than just me and a tubby, snoring spaniel (although of course she is coming too)!

My reasons for choosing a life on the road are many, but in a nutshell these are the main ones:

* I have no idea where I want to be right now.  I know where I don't want to be and that is here, but I do not want to tie myself to anywhere I may not like or which isn't calling to me.  I also do not want to rent, that much I know.  I refuse to hand over my money to anyone for a property which is not mine.

* A motorhome does not cost anywhere near as much as a house.  If my home sells in the vicinity of the price it has been valued at, I will be completely debt free and mortgage free.  I will also have a roof over my head which is all mine and with a bit of luck a nice little nest egg to grow some significant savings; which is a lot more than I could ever hope to achieve in my current situation.

*I am in the position to be able to live wherever I like because I can write from anywhere.  My choice of lifestyle really will enable me to live my dream - to write and travel, travel and write.  My writing will be more prolific, I will be more inspired by the things I see and experience and all going to plan I might finally get to write the books that have been sitting in my head for so long.  I can also be wherever I need to be should any of my family ever need me.  

Excited doesn't begin to describe how I feel at the prospect.  I am so blessed and fortunate to have someone in my life who is just like me, who doesn't really want or need anything but to just be happy. I already know how to live on next to nothing and I will continue to live this way, but without the stress of having the world and his wife chasing me for money and never being able to hang on to any of it myself.  I came across a poem a few days ago and I think this sums up my decision perfectly:

'You start dying slowly

if you do not travel,

if you do not read,

if you do not listen to the sounds of life,

if you do not appreciate yourself.

You start dying slowly when you kill your self-esteem,

when you do not let others help you.

You start dying slowly if you become a slave to your habits,

walking every day on the same paths - if you do not change your routine,

if you do not wear different colours, or you do not speak to those you don't know.

You start dying slowly if you avoid to feel passion and its turbulent emotions, those that make your eyes glisten and your heart beat fast.

You start dying slowly if you do not change your life when you are not satisfied with your job, or with your love, or with your surroundings.

If you do not go after a dream,

if you do not allow yourself

at least once in your lifetime

to run away from sensible advice'.

Pablo Neruda

I've been doing a lot of research into sensible advice lately too and I don't think I am being silly in choosing to invest my money into a home which isn't a house.  In fact I think it's quite sensible; at least I will only be using part of my money and growing the rest.  Were I to buy more bricks and mortar it would necessitate using all of my money from the sale and would also be a huge gamble as like I have already mentioned, I don't even know where I want to live.  This way, should I find anywhere I want to settle on my travels, I shall be able to do so.

There's one other reason for choosing to live my dream now, rather than later - my dad.  He was a truly lovely man.  Everyone loved him and everyone loved being in his company.  He worked harder than anyone I knew.  During the week he was a builder, at weekends he worked for a local earl and his family, looking after their massive grounds and garden.  He enjoyed it there, the peace, the solitude, the people, but most of all he did it for me and mum, to provide for his family.  When he wasn't working for someone else he was working at home.  Every night he would nod off in his armchair in front of the TV, his fingers draped over his face like a bunch of bananas.  Mum and I would always look across the room at each other and giggle.  It never occurred to me as a kid how tired he must always have been.  

When I moved across the other side of the world age 19, Mum and Dad came to visit me twice.  Dad loved NZ and talked about how he would love to emigrate when he retired.  I have such fond memories of him sitting for hours watching the boats come in and out at Tairua, and carrying five month old Liam in a backpack up the steep Coromandel bush tracks.  We didn't know that perfect day as he sat with his baby grandson on his knee that Dad had terminal cancer.  He passed away eight months later, aged just 57.  Dad never got to retire.  He never got to do any of the things he and Mum dreamed of being able to do when he reached old age.  His biggest regret was not spending more time with Mum and me, always working instead wherever there was work available.  I don't want that to happen to me.  I want to live the life I dream of while I'm still young enough to be able to.  I think Dad would approve.

On the whole, most people think it's a brilliant idea - in fact most people sound envious.  'I've always wanted to do that!' or 'Ohh, I wish I could do that!'  My response is 'What's stopping you?'  There have been a couple of people who ask 'But where will you settle?  What happens when you want to buy a house?  What if you can't?'  If truth be known, I don't know that I will want to settle - but if I do it won't be for a very long time, and it most likely won't be a conventional house but a tiny house or something of the like.  Like I said, I don't need much.  My days of spending and consuming and wanting are long gone.  Give me a beautiful view before my eyes, my soul mate by my side and my loyal four-legged friend at my feet and I will be completely and totally happy :)

Parsley

As you have probably gathered, the past few years have not really been the best.  However, as you may also have gathered, there is also one thing which has more than made up for every bit of the bad stuff.  Seeing as yesterday marked our first anniversary together I thought it would be a good time to introduce Gareth to you properly and share the tale of how we met. It's quite a cute story if I say so myself!

Life for me this time last year was, shall we say rather settled.  The highlight of my week days was watching Shortland Street and My Kitchen Rules, topped only by the omnibus edition of Come Dine With Me on weekends.  Most days I did nothing and saw no one.  Even so, I was actually quite happy.  Lonely but happy - after all, the loneliness was my choice.  I didn't WANT to see anyone.  For the first time in my life I was completely comfortable with myself and I was relishing it.

One thing was for certain, I did NOT want a relationship.  Which was just as well as I truly believed there was nobody out there for me anyway - ever.  As far as I was concerned, Ali and me had just over one more year together before he left home like his brother and from then on it would be just me and the pets, forever and ever.  If you don't let anyone get close to you, they can't hurt you.  And nobody was ever getting close to me again.

Although it was just Ali and me at home, I was becoming increasingly frustrated at the cost of food for the both of us and I remembered an article in a Simple Savings newsletter from years back, which said basically the only way to combat rising food prices was to grow as much as you could yourself. So one day I decided to take matters into my own hands and give it a go.  I didn't know what I was doing really, but anything was better than nothing, right?  Being a really adventurous sort I decided I would start with a herb garden.  I prised myself away from Come Dine With Me and headed down to my local Bunnings to see what I could find.

I wandered through the store towards the outdoor area and suddenly came face to face with a tall, blonde haired chap with twinkling blue eyes and the warmest, most genuine smile I'd ever seen.  'Hi Jackie, how's it going?  Can I help you with anything?'  he asked.  This guy knew my name?  He'd never spoken to me before!  'I'm good thanks, I'm just looking for some parsley', I smiled back.  Jeez Jack, what an inspiring answer.  'No worries, well just sing out if you need anything, OK?' he grinned at me one more time before going on his way.  'Yes!  I want you to come back and talk to me some more!', I was shocked to find myself thinking.  A tad flustered, I got my parsley along with a few other bits and pieces and went home and planted my herb garden.

Mission accomplished, I was on my way to saving.  Next step, planting a vegie garden!  There was just one thing bugging me.  Try as I might, I could not get that smiley blonde guy out of my head. What the hell was wrong with me?  I knew his name as he did mine - when you live in a town as small as ours everyone knows who everyone is, even if you don't know them.  For a brief moment I contemplated sending him a friend request on Facebook but immediately gave myself a harsh talking to and a slap on the wrist.  'For goodness sake, he's much younger than you, what on earth would he ever see in someone like you?  Stop acting like a silly schoolgirl and let that be the end of it!' I told myself.

But it wasn't the end of it.  I checked my phone the following day and almost fell over to see a friend request pop up - it was him!  I immediately accepted but again resigned myself to the fact that he was probably just being nice.  Besides, I knew I would never have the courage to talk to him anyway. Even so, all of a sudden I found myself taking on all manner of home improvement and gardening projects which necessitated regular visits to Bunnings.  My vegie garden was enormous and a true sight to behold.  I even built a rockery - my garden had never looked so good!  And every time I hoped that smiling blonde chap with the lilting Welsh accent would serve me, even if it was only to exchange a few sentences about our opposing teams' performances in the Rugby World Cup.

It was the World Cup, in the end which finally brought us together.  Feeling brave one afternoon, I tagged him in a cheeky Facebook post I had seen about the Welsh rugby team.  He responded and that was it, we messaged back and forth that night for six hours.  We talked about everything, our homelands, our travel aspirations, his recent months spent in Canada, music - despite our difference in age we had so much in common.  He was articulate, intelligent, creative, funny and refreshingly honest.  Now here was a change for me - someone who could hold a real conversation!  All I ever wanted was someone who actually wanted to talk and get to know me; instead all I had ever got before now was drunken texts or phone calls from blokes I barely knew who thought I would like nothing better than a 3am visit from them, or even better, a photo of their willy.  Honestly, who says romance is dead?

Gareth on the other hand seemed genuinely quite happy to chat and so we did, night after night, from the moment he came home from work until it was time to go to sleep, when he would wish me 'Nos Dda' - goodnight in Welsh.  Before long, he confessed that he had felt the same as me the day I had come in to get my parsley and both of us were feeling that perhaps we might really have something special.  The only thing standing in the way was me.  I was petrified of dating someone new, was still adamant I didn't want a relationship and besides, Gareth had talked many times of his intentions to go travelling again, I didn't want to get attached to him only to get hurt again.  There was also someone else I had to worry about and that was Ali.  He was my steadfast protector and bodyguard and he and his brother had had a lot to deal with over the past couple of years with young men stalking and hassling me; he even used to sleep next to me armed with a cricket bat and we had called the police more than once.  When it came to men and me, he trusted no one and neither did I.  I also worried that he wouldn't like me dating a younger man and I was right, he didn't.

But in typical Ali style he had his own way of dealing with things and in typical Gareth style, so did he.  I was still working evenings at the local club back then when I realised I had left my wallet in my car and I needed it.  'Could you please drop off my wallet to me?' I texted Ali.  'Nah I can't sorry, I'm busy', came the reply.  I was about to text back 'What are you doing that's so important that you can't spare two minutes to bring me my wallet?!' when he messaged again, 'I'm with Gareth, we've been hanging out for like three hours already', it said, followed by a smiley face.  I couldn't stop smiling to myself, those two! Without my knowledge they had got together while I was safely out of the way so that Gareth could assure my son that his intentions were honourable and so Ali could see for himself that this guy was not out to hurt his mum.  After that, Gareth finally persuaded me to go out on a date and although I was still absolutely terrified, I agreed to go bushwalking up one of the local tracks.  I was worried that I wouldn't know what to say; after all, it would take a good couple of hours to walk the Parakiwai Valley track - and what if I was too unfit and collapsed in an unattractive heap like a sweaty, hyperventilating hippo?

Needless to say, I didn't collapse and we didn't run out of conversation either.  In fact, we were both gobsmacked when we finally got back to the car park and realised that we had been in the bush for seven hours!  We'd been so busy talking about everything under the sun and watching the world go by we hadn't even noticed the time passing.  This guy was an old soul, a beautiful soul, no doubt about that.  But even after that I was still putting up a fight.  I couldn't bear being hurt again, I just couldn't and if I kept everyone at arm's length, well then nobody could hurt me.  And then something really scary happened.  Gareth told me that he had been offered a three-year apprenticeship, which would mean he would be committed to staying here instead of going travelling.  'I never had a reason to stay before - but now I do', he said.  Crikey - he meant me?  That was real relationship talk that was!  I was so happy he had a reason to stay - but could I really let anyone get that close to me?

'For God's sake Mum, this guy is willing to change his whole life to be with you, the least you can do is give it a go!' Ali said exasperated, as I mumbled my concerns.  Maybe he was right - but not tonight.  I was getting ready to go out with a group of friends for the night and it was going to be fun because that's what I was after all, a strong and independent woman who could do whatever she flipping well wanted!  Except it wasn't fun.  I was bored, I felt as though I was in a meat market and as I wandered around aimlessly hoping to find a decent source of conversation to no avail I realised there was only one person I wanted to be with.  'Go!  Just go!' urged my friend Gail and I did.  I went straight to Gareth and I never had even the slightest glimmer of fear or doubt ever again.

As a couple, we have probably been through more together in our first year than a lot of couples ever do.  So much sickness, sadness, stress and drama.  But every morning we still wake up smiling.  I don't know how he has managed it, I really don't but he has stood by me through the worst and most trying time of my life.  For a good part of it he was also extremely unwell himself; there were many days where he could barely move for weeks at a time, to the extent that he had to leave his apprenticeship just a few months after he started.  And I think it's safe to say he's definitely not after me for my money!  But I do think a lot of my frugal ways have rubbed off on him.  Even yesterday, our anniversary or 'Parsley Day' as we affectionately call it was celebrated modestly but perfectly.  'Look - it's 'Steak Out' night at The Lincoln!' I spotted as we walked past yesterday.  'You can get a steak dinner and a beer or cider for $22', I smiled at him, knowing how much he loves steak.  'Hmm - but if we go to the club it will only cost $22 for BOTH of us if we get a burger and chips!' he pointed out.  'True - tell you what, how about we just go to the supermarket on the way home and get something nice for dinner and I'll make us chocolate mousse for pudding?'  I said.  So that's what we did and it was just perfect!  As for the parsley I bought the day we met, I still have it and do my best to nurture it, although I have to say our relationship has thrived a lot better than my plant!